Another 1 down...5 more to go!

Am I the only one who notices the "little things" that make you think "hmm..am I really losing weight?"  We have a van (I know..UGH!) and a car right now.  When I drive the car I have to scoot the seat up quite a bit because I am short and can't reach the pedals but when I try to get out (the seats are low so I've got to twist and pull from the bucket seats) my stomach hits the steering wheel.  I got sick of that so I started moving the seat back when I needed to get out.  Well...lately I haven't been needed to move the seat back.  I think.."am I losing weight or do I not have the seat up as far as usual?"  Then there's "are my sweatshirts really fitting me differently or am I imagining it?"  And once again, I believe the later.  And also, "wow..I didn't get tired carrying full laundry baskets up and down the stairs a couple of times."

Well..for about a week I've been curious as to if my old size 16's would fit or not...finally on Friday I decided to grab a pair and put them on.  I was fully expecting them to make it to my butt and stop..like before..but they kept going...on..and zipped and buttoned!  I was quite shocked..and actually rather giddy!  (VERY different emotions from the first time I put them on and they fit..which was sometime close to after Haylee and Peyton were born..yep..3 years ago!)  I just could NOT believe it!  They were actually comfortable and not that tight!  I doubt I will wear them on a daily basis just yet though.  They make me a bit more self conscious about my stomach..but I do wear them with baggier shirts and sweatshirts!  

Cory's been telling me he can see that I'm losing weight..but I never believe it and discount it as "he's my husband he has to tell me those things."  I constantly ask Cory if it's going to work.  

"Am I really going to lose all the weight?"  

"Am I ever going to look like me again?"

"Will it work?"

So..here's to hard work and dedication.  I know the road ahead is going to be a long one, but I can actually see it paying off.  Which is something I've been doubting..so I've been needing this.  Seeing the improvement gives me the much needed kick in the butt to keep going.

Biggest Loser?

I've been going to the gym 2-4 nights a week.  I walk/jog a mile on the treadmill or jog/walk a mile on the elliptical.  Then I do my biking.  That varies on how long or how many miles but it's at least 10 miles.  Then I go and do my weights..arms/core, legs/core every other day.  I love weights!!  Then I will take on the elliptical or the bike again and just...GO!  

Cory worked 10 days straight so he had today off and also tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday.  So, today I went to the abs/buns class I've been wanting to go to..but can't because it's at 5:30am or 4:30pm..which Cory is at work. Anyway..I loved it!  To be honest..my legs and arms are hurting more now than my butt or abs..but I loved the class and wish I could go every week!  Then I went out and did my legs/core weights and biked for 6 miles (slower than my norm..but man my legs were tired)!

Also..the gym is hosting a Biggest Loser Contest.  It starts January 14th.  We meet with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks plus whatever we do on our own.  There is a weekly weigh-in and prize awarded to the weekly winner.  The grand prize winner at the end wins $1,000!  I signed up tonight!  I hope this gives me some incentive to work even harder!!!

(and guess what..my boobs are losing inches..it's becoming blatantly obvious in my bra)! YEAH!

Thanksgiving....exercise??

Yep that's right..I exercised on Thanksgiving!  It wasn't the typical exercise..running..biking..lifting..etc.  I played sports!  Oh how I've missed it!  I've always considered myself an athlete.  I love playing sports, even when it wasn't a sport that came naturally to me.  I kinda just assumed I was "too fat" to really participate and enjoy it anymore..I was wrong!  I loved it and missed it so much!

In the morning we went and played volleyball for 2 hours.  Serving, setting, spiking, blocking, returning, digging.  I loved every minute of it!  I worked muscles in my legs and abs that I haven't reached yet doing my other exercise.  It's amazing how your body responds and how much of your body you use when you play sports!  I had never thought of it before..it was just something that came to me!  It was a blast..even the NASTY bruises I got on my knees from diving for the ball!

After we ate we played football!  Running, throwing, blocking, diving.  Fun!  (I feel on my bruised knees twice though..OUCH)!  It was another great not-workout workout!

I tell you what, I was SO sore!  My quads were super sore and most of the time I felt fine..but stairs..ouch..and Cory's parent's have lots of stairs in their house!  I was definitely feeling it in my quads and obliques for days.  It felt.....SO...GOOOOOD..though!  I really want to play more sports and instead of letting my weight stop me, I want to let the sports help my weight!  I can't wait to play again!

Still here!

Hello friends!  I am still here and still going..just too busy to update!

Weeks ago I saw that the local Lady Fitness was giving a free membership for the month of November.  I love the gym..well..I love lifting weights!  So I was so excited to soak up my free month!  On the 9th I went over there and started!  (okay..I actually signed up because they have a deal going for only $15 a month and since we figured we could swing that we decided I should do it).  I went that night and the next night, then I went M-Thursday the next week and I went last night.  I have been a bit bored with just the walking/jogging on the treadmill and elliptical.  

I had an appointment last Wednesday to meet with one of the trainers to just get my weight limit set and we were doing legs.  I almost cancelled it because I just didn't feel like going..but I was SO glad I did!  I went there and lifted SO much weight on my legs!  I realized all my weight amounts were the same I was doing in college and high school.  So I KNOW it's there..just hidden by a few inches of yuck!  So that made me really excited!  

Then last night I rode the bike 13 miles in 37 minutes.  Yep..that's right..a little less than 3 minutes a mile!  I have found a new love for the bike!  Now I just need to do some hand weights or something while I'm riding it!  (and I wouldn't mind a real bike for me to ride either)!!  

I still do exercise in the morning because I just LOVE working out in the morning..though that's not as consistent as my nighttime exercise!  I'm excited for this venture and I just pray that I'm not disappointed the next time I weigh myself!  

I am so glad that I have encouragement and advice from so many friends!  I love you all!  I am grateful for a loving husband who knows how bad I want this and is there to push me out the door sometimes, willing to be home alone with the kids every night, and happy and in love with me..no matter what!  I love you Husby!  I am thankful for my gym buddy!  She has so much confidence in me that I'm so glad she and Cory are there when I am having doubts!  I love you Nat!

(plus I went and got some pants yesterday..a size 18!  Okay..I know that's not MUCH..but it is a pant size down!)

I'm at it again..

Is it going to be THIRD time's a CHARM or THREE strikes I'm OUT?!  I just don't know anymore.  My confidence in myself is diminishing.  I see these people on the Biggest Loser and see that they've lost at least 100 pounds and look FANTASTIC!  I have no doubts I can actually lose the weight..my lack of confidence comes from whether or not I can look like THAT again or not..I guess we shall see because I just can't give up!

I went to the doctor two weeks ago and I had lost 3 pounds..3 pounds from working out 2 days...hey, I'll take it!  But..I have to go back in two weeks and I'm not going to weigh myself until then!  

Okay..so this morning I woke up and really, REALLY wanted to do some Zumba..but we have 3 couches in our living room that need to be moved and organized so I didn't have the room for it. So, I stuck with my card game workout.  I also did P90X chest, shoulders, triceps workout (I didn't do the Ab Ripper X..I didn't realize it was going to show me more after the chest ended but next time I'll pay attention)!  So I got 2 hours of a workout in today...definitely not bad!  

Here's to hoping that tomorrow is at the very least just as good!

Break-away..

Hello people..I am alive and kicking!  So after my intense day 2 I was terribly sore the next 24 hours.  I have NEVER been that sore from working out..and I just did a basic workout from home!  It definitely did some work on my body though!  I haven't been doing too much over the weekend though.  I was fasting quite a bit so I didn't do a whole lot of intense, calorie-burning workouts while I was getting so few or no calories a day.  Yesterday I was gone all day..and today and tomorrow I am going to have some "me days."  No, I don't plan on throwing my weight loss ideals out the window, but I am super stressed..SUPER stressed..(plus IT has been around the past 2, almost 3 days).  I have a million and one emotions running through me that I just need to take a few days to relax and just breath.  I know how much harder it is to lose weight while stressed and so I am going to just give myself a couple days then get right back on that wagon.  I won't NOT exercise at all, but it won't be too vigorous or intense (then again, tomorrow night I might be wanting something intense to get my emotions out in some way).  But, I am here..and I'm still truckin' along!

Day 2..sick!

Ugh..I am sick..seriously sick!  Although I loved my Zumba yesterday, I didn't want to do the same thing every day so I figured I would do that every other day and some kind of strengthening every other day.  I did NOT get up and work out this morning..I just finished working out.  I don't know if that is why I am feeling so sick..or if it's because I haven't eaten since dinner..or the exercises or a combination of them all..but wow..I feel like I am going to puke!  (I think it also has to do with the fact that I ate way less calories today than I am supposed to..it's really hard for me to eat 1631 calories every day)!!  So..in that Simple Swaps book I'm reading, I read a trainer tip from Jillian and it says to exercise with a deck of cards.  Shuffle them and pull them out one by one.  Each number on the card is the number of reps you do, face cards are 10 reps and an ace you get to rest for 1 minute.  A diamond is push-ups, clubs are reverse crunches, hearts are lunges, and spades are crunches.  That is a total of 84 reps for each of them.  Like I said..SICK!!

New Day 1...

Okay..Since I lost NO weight..and I was going back and forth and all I am starting anew..this is my..LAST day one!  My friend let me borrow a book..The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps..and I love it!  I'm only halfway through it but the section about the calories totally just snapped my head on straight!  I have been eating nowhere near my calories I need to to lose weight.  I'm sure that's a huge factor in why I've been static at this weight!  So..that was my new motivation!  I track all my calories and protein (among others..but those are the biggest two) every day and I track how many calories I burn by my workouts.  Another friend of mine gave me an awesome link to some Zumba on YouTube and I did that for an hour today..totally fell in love!!  It's tough cardio but it motivates me to DO it and not stop!  I'm loving this new cardio!  I just need to find some fun strength training besides just push-ups and crunches!  I'm just praying that this new motivation sticks around!!! :D

Day 29

A while ago Cory got me a pedometer..and I finally used it!  I started this morning at around 10am..and now it says that I've walked 4,063 steps, 0.92 of a mile, and burned 215 calories.  I have NO idea if that is correct or not...I guess we will see what tomorrow holds..it might need a little adjusting!! :D

Days 25-29

Wow I haven't been writing.. :(  Sorry!  Okay..so I've been doing lots of jumping jacks and crunches..lots of housework! ;)  Lots of walks..with the kids but it still getting out and walking I tell myself! :D  I'm getting there..I've definitely got the motivation back..I AM going to GET THIS DONE!!!

Days 15-24..total slacker!

Catching up..okay so last week I didn't do my video..yeah I know.. :(  But I did lots of crunches and jumping jacks.  I also did a lot of housework..so if that counts!! :D  This week however..I have done nothing! Except for lots of housework..if that counts! :)  I am in a blah mode..I've got to snap out of it!!!  I WILL snap out of it and find some motivation..some drive and start doing it again!!!

Day 15

I did my video this morning..I'm seriously sick of this video..then again..it has three levels..maybe I should try another one!  So, I also took a walk tonight with the family.  We walked about a mile and a half.  It wasn't speed walking since we had the kids, but it was a nice, brisk, long walk!  We all enjoyed it!  

Thanks Jennifer for the idea of smoothies! The kids love smoothies so that's going to be delicious for breakfast!

Thanks Angela!!  I've heard that about protein-rich foods before too..but I'm not exactly sure what is protein-rich besides meats....

Oh my gosh..multiple people keep telling me my pants are practically falling off of me.  I just kinda roll my eyes and think "oh yeah..I'm so sure!"  Well..I saw myself in some pictures..and these pants look hideous!!!  I'll have to get some pictures up so everyone can see..I need to get some "before" pictures up anyway!  So..pictures to come ASAP! :D

Day 14..Question...

Blah..blah..blah!  I did not do my video today. I did jumping jacks and crunches for an hour.  Boring..yes..at least I got something in!

I much prefer to work out in the morning.  I feel that it starts my day off better.  It gives me energy (yes..weird I know!).  I have more patience with the kids and have more of a desire to DO something!  So..I read somewhere that this person would wake up and immediately put on their workout clothes.  Then even if they didn't immediately work out they at least would do it in the first two hours of their day because they had their clothes on and ready to go!  So..that's what I will be doing each day..waking up and putting on workout clothes!  I hope  it works for me!

Question for all of you morning workout-ers..do you eat breakfast before or after your workout?  I have never been a breakfast person but since I have started this workout..lose weight thing..I have told myself to eat SOMETHING for breakfast.  Usually it is just a piece of toast.  But I'm not sure what people eat for breakfast and if they do it before or after..help?

Days 4-13!

Blogger slacker here!  Last Thursday we went to Idaho Falls, then on Friday we went to Montana for Cory's family reunion.  On Sunday we came home, but stopped in Idaho Falls to pick up my nephew who stayed until yesterday!  I have totally slacked in my exercising!  I am super self conscious and hate to do my DVD in front of people...cause I don't always make it through without stopping for a minute..and cause I'm sure I look funny doing it!  We did, however, go to the school and do some runs!  I tried my "walk the straights, run the curves" drill that we used to do in track..doing it just once killed me!  I am out of shape!  But, it did feel great to be running on the track again!  Which brings me to a new goal...Run the hurdles in the time I ran them in high school!  I know I can do this one!  I am super excited about it too!  We also went camping which lead to LOTS of LONG nature walks with the kids!  Times like that I am so grateful for the kids pushing for walks..and walks..and walks!! :D  We canoed too..worked the arms a lil!  So..now that our lives are getting back to normal...so will my exercising!  Oh..and thanks Kristin for the chat, the encouragement, and the book recommendations!  I will be reading them!  Also a great thanks to Pam!  Your encouragement is so touching to me.  The fact that I am influencing you to work out makes me happy.  You are an amazing woman!  

Day 3

So this blog is working already!  I had no desire to workout today! I felt I just had too much to do!  But..since people have been reading..I didn't want to disappoint.  So, I threw on my workout clothes and threw on the same DVD and DID IT!  I swear it was the worst of the three days!  My cardio was terrible!! I just wanted to give up almost every time I started...but I didn't!  I now need to work on my sleeping..I need to get to bed!  :D

Day 2

Last night was terrible..so I didn't get to work out until the kids were eating lunch!  Ugh!  But..I did it..I did the Jillian Michaels video again.  As weird as it sounds, it's already getting easier.  Doing the strength was a bit tougher since I was sore today but I did more cardio with less breaks.  I also did more push-ups than I did yesterday.  Yes, I know change doesn't come overnight, but I'm being totally honest!  Yesterday I could only do 5 push-ups before I needed to take a break and do 5 more, and so one.  Today I could to 10, then I stopped for a second and did 6 more, etc.  I was proud of that fact already!  Haha..funny day today though..I must have looked like exercising was rough because Haylee would look at me, very concerned, and ask, "you okay mom?"  She did that quite a few times!  And a couple times I grunted and Gage asked, "Umm..what's wrong mom?  What's that sound?"  Ahh..kids!

Goals..

Thank you for the support!  I really do appreciate it!  I noticed that people both on my blog and on facebook made comments about short-term goals.  My BIG goal is to get back to a size 6, but I do have a short term goals.  

Short Term:

1) Work out 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, at the very least.
2) Do my work out in the morning..it gives me SUCH a rush and much more energy to take on the day!
3) Eat as much fruits and vegetables as my kids do each day..and yes..they have more than I do..and I snack more than they do!
4) Lose at least 15 pounds a month for the next 6 1/2 months.

Long Term:

1) Lose at least 100 pounds.
2) Get into the size 6 I want.
3) Wear that beautiful dress again that Cory's been dying to see me in..
4) WEAR MY WEDDING RING AGAIN!!  I haven't worn my wedding band and ring since Haylee and Peyton were born and I haven't worn my eternity band (the diamond band Cory gave me when we went through the temple) since shortly after they were born.  I miss it!  (plus we get some CRAZY looks when we are out as a family since neither of us have our wedding rings!!)

Day 1

Today...good day!  I woke up and did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.  The strength and abs in this video don't bother me at all..it's the cardio that gets me!  I've got to..just GOT to get better at that!  I will, I know I will.  But danged if I don't need to get a knee brace for my knee that I had surgery on.  They took out a lot of cartilage and shaved off some bone..so it gets painful when moved around a lot.  The kids love exercising and are great motivation!  If they are doing it with me and I stop for a second they immediately ask what I'm doing..or why I stopped..or if I'm going to exercise!  Haha..I love it!  I was going to do it with Cory again before we went to bed, but I didn't get to.  My goal for tomorrow is to do it in the morning and at night!  Thank you for the support my dear friends!  I love you all!

It's about time!

Boy, oh, boy!  It is about danged time!!  I am bound and determined to do it..finally!  I will be skinny and healthy again!  

A little back story (okay, long)...when I met Cory it was February 20, 2006, and I weighed around 145..and wearing size 8...very tightly! I was very, VERY unhappy and self conscious about it.  I had always been between 120-135 and wore anywhere from a 4 to an 8, very comfortably, depending on the brand of clothing.  

Cory and I moved to Missouri that August.  Although I loved being near my oldest sister and somewhat closer to my parents who had moved back to Florida for the year, neither of us really loved it.  I started gaining weight..lots of it!  I was wearing size 10, and actually cried when I had to buy them!  (and I was about 170)  

We got married and moved back to Utah.  I started  losing some weight but then I found out I was pregnant.  I started gaining some weight then was so, SO sick!  I couldn't get out of bed for more than a few minutes..and that was usually just to run to the bathroom and let it all out!  I was given medication from my doctor so I would be able to function though I still didn't feel like doing anything because I was still constantly nauseous.  I was 185 after Gage and Taya were born.  

After my six weeks, I began an small exercise routine.  Then I found out I was pregnant.  I had so many emotions going through me that exercising was the last thing I wanted to think about!  About halfway through my pregnancy I began to come to terms with it.  However, I was warned to take it easy.  Yes, exercise was good but I should not begin a rigorous exercise program because I hadn't been doing it so my body wasn't used to it, and my body was still fragile from having just had babies.  I was 205 after Haylee and Peyton were born.  My doctor has done extensive research into the rebuilding of the body/uterus after having had a c-section.  He was very, VERY intent on the 3 month waiting period before lifting, doing ab work, or anything that would weaken my uterus and could cause it to split.  That scared me..so I wouldn't do any of those exercises.

So after my 3 month hiatus, that still leaves me 6 months before I got pregnant again..and for those 6 months, I have no excuses!  (well except for the 4 infants I was taking care of...)  But I didn't work out much..except for taking walks..and that was rare.  Cory and I moved twice in those months and though where we ended up was where we wanted, there were a lot of stress factors during that time that just did NOT help my frame of mind for concentrating on losing weight.  I did lose some weight then I got pregnant.  I was even more emotional about this one.  And my thoughts and emotions lasted up until Alexis was born.  I was 215 after she was born.  Again, I had a c-section and didn't want to begin weight lifting or stomach workouts until after the 3 month period.  

I started to gain weight from not working out..and was 220.  I started working out and actually lost 5 pounds in a week..having only done my workout for two days.  But it didn't last long.  I have really WANTED to lose all the weight, but I am too scared to actually try.  I have always heard that no matter how much weight you lose, or how skinny you get, you will never actually have your pre-baby body back..the pre-baby weight is possible, but the body changes and you can't fix that.  That terrifies me!  I want my old body back!  (I even want the body I had when I met Cory..the one I was unhappy with at the time!)  I have always thought it wasn't possible so why try.

I have since gained weight and I am currently 233.  My pants are a size 20.  My tops are XXL.  I know I am overweight but I don't think I look 233..and Cory's face was actually shocked the first time he saw it on the scale (and if you know Cory, you know he can't fake it!)    I am very unhappy with my looks now.  I don't go out of my way to talk to people..which really is NOT my personality!  I love meeting new people and making new friends..but not now..not being self-conscious!  I am unhappy with my life..the life of a stay-at-home mom is not one I ever planned for myself..ever!  I don't do as good of a job as I know I can do.  It goes back to my being unhappy with myself.  It's all a  big cycle!  One affects the other..and that one affects the other..and it goes on and back and forth..but no more!  Today I wake up..and I am READY!

I figure if I make this blog..even if no one reads it..I will have to be accountable.  I will come on each night and blog about my workout (s) and food.  Now, we don't eat that bad..we are constantly having fruits and veggies..and rarely snack.  My biggest problem with food is portion control.  I will get a portioned size dinner..eat it..then get a second...and stop to do ten things for the kids..then realize I'm not hungry anymore.  I don't want to waste the food so I eat it..even though I can feel it making me sick!  Well..that's just going to have to stop!  If I waste food..so be it!  My health is more important!

In this crazy house of 5 kids under 3 years old, I have got to find some me time!  I do a lot with my kids..but we do a lot of crafty, artsy things.  Those things are easy for me.  But I want to play tag with them for longer than a 10-15 minute spurt of time.  I want to be able to chase these crazies all over the yard for as long as they want.  I need to find this happiness inside of me so that I can find more enjoyment in them.  I don't want to be this shy girl forever.  I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me as they get older.  I don't want them to think it's okay to be unhealthy.  I want them to be active, social, happy, functioning members of a society..as I am none of those at this moment in time!  My kids don't understand that there are some overweight people or skinny people..or what's normal or average.  But in the next few years they will.  I know our generation of kids will have more than enough things on their minds and I don't want to add another one!

I would love to get down to a 120..but I am actually not too concerned with that number.  I am more concerned with getting into a size 6.  So today is the day..today is day one!  Wish me luck!!!